Criticism on my opening paragraphs, please? - turquoise chain link belts
Please let me know what is good and what is not.
Everything what is not.
Thank you!
Most people think it was as risky as the rumors that spread recently in New York. The silent darkness was just beginning to give such a glowing orange and yellow of the sun taken filthy huts in the cabin.
I sat on the side of a green hill a few feet of chain linked fence separates the inhabitants of me. I see a security camera that was sitting on the fence, the guards in the search box below.
The turquoise began to penetrate into the amber sky, a distant whistle penetrates to the cheerful song of birds in the morning and caught my eye from the camera to the noise source to achieve. At the foot of the hill, about a hundred yards to my left, a large cargo truck was approved in the door. There was plenty of food and water, I imagined. Finally, clothing and medicine.
Fearing that the noise from truckscan the public after the dream, and encourage them to move from their habitat - and to see me sitting there, crashed near the border, I positioned at least a dozen yards up the hill and saw.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Turquoise Chain Link Belts Criticism On My Opening Paragraphs, Please?
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